Sunday 25 November 2007

How to Wash in a Third World Country

Slightly hysterical after a week of on-off hot water drama, I relise I need to get the situation under control and come up with a solution. What would bruce Parry do? What would Ray Mears do?
Hm. Not having quite enough time before class to sit and rub two sticks together and heat the tin bucket of freshly collected spring water, I start to think about what I would do, and indeed did, when forced to live not only without hot water, but without running water, way down in the tropics.
So I adapted my technique for colder climes and came up with the following:
1) Fill kettle, boil kettle, pour water into washing up bowl.
2) Repeat step one at least three times.
3) Fill large tupperware bowl with water and heat in microwave.
4) Add tupperware bowl water to washing up bowl.
5) Create elaborate network of extension leads, allowing the heater to be placed in freezing bathroom.
6) EXTREMELY IMPORTANT: Do NOT switch on heater while kettle and microwave are in use as this will result in power cut in ridiculously low powered Portuguese flats, thus leaving one with no hot water, no heat and no light. This is not the desired outcome.
7) Place steaming washing up bowl of water into bath(with water still in bowl), switch on heater, wait for bathroom to resemble sauna
8) Place self in tub, and enjoy burning oneself with boiling water, liberally applied with sponge.
9) For added heat, place feet in washing up bowl.
10) You are now clean, AND warm. Yay!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Great work.